so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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