i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
