If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize