Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
