Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We need to get me chipped asap
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
