Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
