Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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