It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
