i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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