Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
