ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
