The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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