I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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