I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
