the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
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