Is it because I queefed?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
