I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
