apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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