I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Ladies don't puke and tell
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I love you.
Bad choice
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
