U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
