i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
