Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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