Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize