Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
