no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
