If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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