another moral hangover. fuck.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
