Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
