you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
