Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
