if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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