I just saw a hot homeless man
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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