When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
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