My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
