she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
