If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
