A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
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Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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