Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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