Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
