apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize