when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize