U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
