took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.