The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
