That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
