ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
