If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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