yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He better not be in your backpack
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
