I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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