you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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