if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize