just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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