i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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