Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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