Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
