New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.