Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him

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(858): i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him http://tfl.nu/fwf2

Replies (5) Good night (3267) Bad night (572)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down

(919): View more from North Carolina

i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him

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(336): he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down (919): i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him http://tfl.nu/upw6

Replies (67) Good night (4061) Bad night (1273)
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(517): View more from Michigan

My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?

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(517): My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school? http://tfl.nu/rw32

Replies (62) Good night (987) Bad night (4313)
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(619): View more from California

Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?

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(619): Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose? http://tfl.nu/me2j

Replies (17) Good night (725) Bad night (4696)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on

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(780): She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on http://tfl.nu/l1qo

Replies (14) Good night (4342) Bad night (775)
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(347): View more from New York

The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09

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(347): The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09 http://tfl.nu/7ioy

Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (4379)
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(602): View more from Arizona

UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.

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(602): UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle. http://tfl.nu/69ov

Replies (7) Good night (1835) Bad night (970)
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(518): View more from New York

You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.

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(518): You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come. http://tfl.nu/a590

Replies (17) Good night (2611) Bad night (637)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.

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(330): Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success. http://tfl.nu/8tcw

Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (431)
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(209): View more from California

I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed

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(209): I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed http://tfl.nu/bw7g

Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (365)
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(561): View more from Florida

I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it

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(561): I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it http://tfl.nu/hhh2

Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (360)
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(510): View more from California

I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.

(707): View more from California

The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.

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(510): I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no. (707): The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off. http://tfl.nu/haix

Replies (0) Good night (994) Bad night (429)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Did you win?

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(803): My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game." (1-803): Did you win? http://tfl.nu/8s69

Replies (10) Good night (2444) Bad night (465)
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(317): View more from Indiana

He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??

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(317): He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten?? http://tfl.nu/i55l

Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (603)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart

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(847): Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart http://tfl.nu/hca3

Replies (4) Good night (871) Bad night (169)

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