Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.