We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.