Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
it's like iHOP with fire
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Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
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I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And then the night went full on bisexual.