I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back