Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after