So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
